It’s happening, only 6 days until you start Prep my love.
I think the first day of kinder and the first day of Prep are so very different but equally as hard. Last year when Ari started kinder was extremely difficult for me, as it was the first time I was leaving my child with a complete stranger. I lay in bed wondering if I could trust people who weren’t family and my fear revolved around trust issues and wondering if he would be cared for appropriately. Now that he starts SCHOOL, like SCHOOL, big SCHOOL where there will be big kids as well and not 20/30 kids but almost 1000, I have different fears. I fear someone breaking his spirit, I fear him being rejected, I fear him being forgotten and of course I fear him falling over and no one there to help wipe away his tears or give it a kiss to make it all better.
Ari is a special little boy, he’s so so clever but he is also so so loving. He just loves to love and doesn’t understand when people don’t reciprocate, it makes him sad. I have tried many different ways to explain it to him but I know he just needs to learn for himself. I know all the advice I would give to a friend who is going through this, I can hear the words in my head but the lump in my throat and the tears welling in my eyes tells me I need to learn for myself too. I know he will be fine and if he’s not we will get through it but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.
I also worry about him meeting his full potential, will his teacher help him accelerate or will he get bored. will I regret teaching him how to read and write? (relax Susan it’s just 3 letter words I’m not showing off) I know so many people who think because I’m a teacher it somehow makes a difference but on Thursday I am not a teacher, I am a mum who has to let go of her first baby for 7 hours and then repeat the process again and again. I am a mum who has to come to terms with him not needing me for most of his day anymore. I’m a mum who has to wonder what he’s going to do when he does a runny poo and he can’t wipe it all properly himself. I’m a mum who has to worry if he drops his sandwich at lunchtime will he be OK or starve all day…….
Good luck to all the mum’s and dad’s out there who will be making that walk to the school gates this year with their first-born. I don’t look forward to letting go when I get that last hug in the morning and if the amount I have sobbed whilst writing this is any indication maybe I should buy a few shares in Kleenex before the week is out.
Do you remember your little ones first day? Any tips? For me not him, he will be fine. Please head back to Facebook or Instagram to leave a comment or just some love.
Thanks for reading love you all. Zoe xoxo