Staying home to raise the children while hubby’s life goes on as normal
There have been a lot of break-ups in the headlines lately. We have been flooded with the Brangelina break up, why people are still surprised over Hollywood break ups is beyond me, but the one I was recently reading about and was shocked about, was Karl Stefanovic splitting from his wife of 21 years Cassandra and about her sacrificing her career to stay home and raise their 3 children, which I’m sure she has no regrets about.
Now, I got pregnant in my second year of teaching and after having my son I couldn’t wait to get back into it. I was lucky as we have a very supportive set of grandparents that would look after him on the days that I worked. I then got pregnant again the year that I returned to work and am currently on maternity leave for my second baby. I’ve decided to take another year off my teaching career next year for a few reasons. I initially felt guilty for this decision as there is a pressure and certain looks you get from people when you say you are going back to work, you get the “oh, already? don’t you feel bad leaving them so young?” and then you’re damned if you don’t “Oh you’re not going back to work? won’t you get bored at home? Don’t you miss going to work?” Ive learnt to not listen and not care what other people have to say. My husband has always been supportive of every decision i have made so I’m really lucky in that respect. My decision to stay home revolved around my FOMO (fear of missing out). I always hear women say “oh they grow so quickly and I wish they were little again” my son will be going to 4-year-old kinder soon and next year was the last year I can really enjoy every moment with him, and of course his little sister.
I’m quite lucky in the fact that I work for a government school so my position is secured for 7 years. I can go off and have my children knowing that my position will still be there when I am ready to return. I think it would have been a much tougher decision if I didn’t have that security. Yes I will be completely lost when I do return, as so much changes but that happens in every field. I felt completely lost after taking only one year off teaching, I can only imagine how much will change having taken 2!
I think when you make the decision to stay home it needs to be because YOU want to. That way you have no-one to blame and no regrets in the future. Keeping yourself busy mentally and up to date in your field if you intend to return is also a great idea. if you are in the position financially, like Karl and Cassandra were, to take time off, then have a sound plan for when you are ready to go back, whether that be returning to study or retraining etc.
At the end of the day you just need to be happy with the decisions you make in life and not allow anyone to guilt trip or sway you.
Do you or have you ever had any regrets in staying home rather than pursuing your career?