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My Big Break.

I used to think that only twats applied to agencies. Ugly people, who thought they were cute and were going to get a shot on some TV show, that would result in them “making it”. I was even one of those twats that enquired about one I saw that kept popping up in posts and conversations. Now I am one. I recently won a competition for a year signed with RPR talent agency and boy do I have some funny stories about my experiences so far.

First there was the head shots debacle. You will never see these head shot, I am not kidding. I think I cried for an hour when I saw them (post baby hormones didn’t help the situation). I showed my husband who gave me a very sympathetic sad face, knowing full well he shouldn’t dare laugh. I showed a few friends who were shocked and thought I had done some sort of editing or put my head on a different persons body and once all the pain was over and I had moved on I showed my brother….. who laughed hysterically until tears came streaming down his eyes as he rolled off the couch onto the floor. He can never get his hands on a copy. They are honestly, hand on my heart, worst photos I have ever come across. They are worse than any caught-of-guard-reverse-camera-double-chin pics I have ever seen of myself. I don’t know what angle this “photographer” took these shots from, that made them so bad. Might have been the way he cropped it, coupled with my post baby-no-underwire-saggy-boobs and mummy tummy that blended into one, that will leave this image forever burned into the diet archives part of my brain. I needed to print this photo and sticky tape it to my fridge because I looked somewhat of a cross between a walrus and a hippo, a “walrippo”. They were so bad I can’t even, don’t even, want to imagine the shots they binned. Even my gorgeous baby girl looked a little “special” in her pics.

Our first job came a few weeks later and I was actually surprised. When I heard $400 each for my hubby and myself, I had a babysitter sorted within the hour and hubby rushed home so we can head off to do a tv commercial. I THOUGHT we would be extras in the background, but when we arrived and there was no-one else around, I started getting poo shivers. I was so nervous, and the director said he didn’t want it to look like Melbourne so I would need to remove my scarf and jumper… “WHY the F did I not wear an underwire bra????” All we had to do was walk towards the camera pushing a trolley full of groceries, with a blank/serious look on our faces. You know the look people have when there is a voice over, like in those bullying commercials or the work cover ones, when the wife gets the bad news. Didn’t help that I laugh when I get nervous and my husband telling me I was pouting like a fish after the first take had me giggling like a school girl after her first hand holding session, thinking “omg, now great, this guy is going to think I’m unprofessional”. I was stoked when it was over and I made $400 for a job that took only one hour. Best part was IT NEVER AIRED!! Yesssss. I was so happy to hear it didn’t make it to TV because I just knew I would cry when i saw myself.

Yesterday I took my son to a casting, feeling like a total stage mum, I had been preparing him for days, some may call it coaxing. Promised him if he was a good boy he would get a new Thomas train. The day before we went he was really snotty and whiny so I was sure he wasn’t going to behave, but when we arrived he was so excited. I had piggy-backed him the whole way and up the two flights of stairs (anything to get him in a good mood, but I was sweating like fat kid in a cake shop), he was happy and playing in the waiting room as I filled in the forms and measured him up. We weren’t sent through right away and I was getting nervous because as most of you know, children are a ticking time bomb, strike while the iron is hot woman, send us through. The receptionist told me she had to “pop out for 5 minutes”. In that 5 minutes, my son was running and tripped flying face forward at full speed into the reception desk….. I think the whole of St. Kilda heard the howls that followed. (Today the bridge of his nose is black and blue and he has a red mark across it, my little Rudolf) I was ready to leave at that stage but he didn’t want to go. Thankfully the client was amazing and so patient, not what I expected, and she just encouraged us to chill and take our time and see how he feels. My little trooper rocked that audition even with his little Rudolf nose, but if he gets the job I will be VERY surprised.

All joke aside though, everyone at RPR have been amazing. Like too amazing I’m suspicious. Ros has all the time in the world to have a chat and makes me feel like I’m part of a family, which sounds so odd as I’ve only known her a few months. The whole team is great and really made me have faith that I did the right thing for my family as I must admit I was a little suspicious. You hear so many people with negative experiences where they are made to layout huge amounts of money for portfolios and never get any work because they’re ugly. Well let me tell you, there are A LOT of ugly people on TV! OK OK different looking. If I scored a job, anyone can. I initially thought my kids (especially Ambrosia) would get all the calls, but after the open day, when we got our headshots done, Ros and her protegé Georgie, were gushing all over my husband telling him he was going to do the best. Boy did I not hear the end of that one! Almost had to request they open the double doors to fit his head through, as we exited the building, couldn’t wipe the smile off his face! I started calling him George Clooney (even though it’s obvious he looks more like Mr. Bean).

If you have been thinking about it and you’re not sure then send them a message. Roslyn is so lovely and she will answer all your questions. They are always looking for families, especially with different looks and ethnicities. They have an open day coming up next SATURDAY JULY 16TH. I’ll be there too getting new headshots, so come and have a laugh at me.

Thanks for reading, and NO you will never see “THAT” headshot I was talking about… EVER! – Love you all. Zoe xoxo

If you know my child she never looks this bad. I think I even spot a moustache!

If you know my child she never looks this bad. I think I even spot a moustache!

Me on set for my first commercial

Me on set for my first commercial.

Please my lack of support in the chest region

Please note my lack of support in the chest region.

My sons nose after the face plant into the reception desk. My poor baby.

My sons nose after the face plant into the reception desk. My poor baby.