Let me preface this letter by saying I wrote this upstairs in bed crying after I threw a hissy fit. I love my husband and he does a great job. Some days though, he could be Daddy Perfect and it still wouldn’t be enough. Here is me being vulnerable. It won’t happen often. Enjoy.
Im writing you this message so I don’t have to yell at you or cause an argument and be that “ball breaker wife”. Days like these are when I edge extremely near my breaking point. It may have been a good day and only bad for 5 minutes, but those 5 minutes make my mind race through a months worth of things that have annoyed me. Things that I have asked you to do or mentioned and they didn’t get done. You complain that I ask you to do things but why do I have to ask you? Why cant you take initiative? Do you presume my job is that easy? If it were, I wouldn’t NEED help! If it was easy, there wouldn’t be the occupation of “nanny” or “cleaner” or “personal chef” nor would there be laundries and childcare, etc.
The sound of one baby crying is like nails on a chalkboard right? So how do you think I feel when they are both going off at the same time like an annoying smoke alarm you can’t stop? Terrorists have got it all wrong, they should be using crying babies on POW’s.
Im asking you nicely. I need your help. Don’t stroll in and slowly take your shoes off, then slowly go and change, then slowly play with one child and then the other while opening the mail and then proceeding to leaving its’ contents on the kitchen counter for the next month until I find a spot for it. If you hadn’t noticed, in that time I have hung washing, put away the groceries you brought home, washed some MORE dishes, sorted out two screaming turd-children all whilst starting on dinner!!
Why is it that when I get a spare minute, I’ll pack something or change some sheets but you get to go sit on the couch after a long day of sitting at a desk. I hate that damn couch. I wish I could wire it to zap your ass and fling you into the air somehow. (I must remember to look into that.)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so many women do it all. Bulls**t!! Husbands just don’t have a clue and sure as hell arent gonna talk about it amongst each other are they? No-one tells YOU that their wife was crying in her room last night, for 10minutes, looking disheveled when they got home from work because she’d had a tough day.
Today was another one of those days I didn’t even brush my teeth. Yup so hot, right? As much as it is a distant memory for me, I’m sure it is for you too, that confident and sexy person you met all those years ago. I wonder if you still find me attractive because I sure as hell don’t right now. I miss having time to put on makeup and straighten my hair but now my priority is having OUR kids dressed in the coolest outfits and making sure OUR kids are fed!
Ok rant over. I hope you know I WANT to be at home for our kids because I love them but don’t think for a second that work isn’t a million times easier than being a stay at home mum.
I love you. Now come upstairs and make me feel better. – Zoe xoxo